I ran for 40 minutes today … terribly slowly. It was lovely, but slow. My view looked something like this:
In another life – you know, the one where I didn’t quit my job and sell all my stuff and move to Barcelona – I’d be running the Portland Marathon today.
It makes me shake my head because, well, I’m in no kind of marathon shape. In fact, I’m hardly in running shape. (Sigh.)
Back when I signed up for the marathon, I was super motivated. I’d just come off a fabulous half marathon experience, and I thought 2012 would be the year I’d become a Runner with a capital R.
I started out with good intentions to train for the marathon.
Well, hang on. Let’s back up.
I started out with moderately good intentions to train. But, even back during the days of my running highs, I wasn’t certain I’d be able to stick to the marathon training schedule.
Fast forward a few weeks when I set my sights on Spain, and my long runs started to fall by the wayside. Then, when I officially signed up for the TESOL course here, I knew I wouldn’t be in Portland on the 7th so my training all but stopped entirely.
Since then, I’m back to being a casual runner: heading out 3-4 times per week for 40 minutes each.
Speed work? No.
Beer gut? Kind of.
At the moment, running is strictly stress relief – and a way to get to know my new neighborhood (which I’ll be writing about soon). And that’s certainly not a bad thing.
But the little over-achiever in me feels like a bit of a failure. I want to be capable of running 26.2 miles today. I want to be feeling that rush of a PR. As much as my life is an adventure right now, I want to be at the Portland Marathon.
And … if I can’t be there, is it so much to ask to get my $150 registration fee back?! ;)